The Bachelor

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was on ABC's reality dating show, The Bachelor. Coincidentally, the season finale of The Bachelor was on tonight, so I decided to watch it. It was just about the saddest darn thing I ever saw. For those of you who haven't been keeping up with the show, here's what happened:

After six weeks, Brad Womack has narrowed down his group of twenty-five bachelorettes to the final two, Jenni and DeAnna. They are both conventionally attractive brunettes who've had nothing better to do with the past six weeks than humiliate themselves on cable, so it's no surprise that Brad, our handsome Texas millionaire, is having so much trouble choosing one of them. We're just impressed that he can tell them apart!
Brad goes on a final date with each woman. DeAnna makes him dinner and then tells him she's falling in love with him. Then Jenni makes him dinner and tells him she's falling in love with him. Brad goes shopping for an engagement ring. Who will he pick?
We think our curiosity is about to be sated, as Brad stands on top of a decorative lump of concrete on a grassy hill with the final rose laying on a tiny corinthian column next to him. Jenni gets out of a limo and walks up to him. We hold our breath. He says some nice things about her, and then...he dumps her! She walks off in tears.
DeAnna gets out of the limo and walks up to him. He says some nice things about her and tells her he dumped Jenni. DeAnna's eyes glow with vicious triumph, and then... Brad walks off! He paces and walks around in circles. He comes back to DeAnna and... tells her he doesn't love her!

Poor Brad. Poor Bachelorettes. So many tears. After six weeks, he has not been able to decide who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. If reality TV can't find his soul mate for him, I'm afraid Brad is doomed to die alone. But the question on all our minds is surely... will Brad be back for the next season of The Bachelor?