Readers of the "blog" will be relieved to hear that I do not have warts. I have determined, after two days of scrupulous observation and a thorough application of the scientific process, that the four itchy, red bumps on my foot are nothing more than the festering remainders of some mianthropic mosquito's ill-intentioned dinner party.
I hope this good news will fill the hearts of my readers with as many warm fuzzies as it has mine.
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